Amanda’s Page

Psalm 129

From my earliest youth my enemies have persecuted me Let all Israel repeat this From my earliest youth my enemies have persecuted me But they have never defeated me. My back is covered with cuts As if a farmer had plowed long furrows But the Lord is good He has cut me free from the ropes of the ungodly May all who hate Jerusalem Be turned back in shameful defeat May they be useless as grass on rooftops Turning yellow when only half grown. Ignored by the harvester Despised by the binder And may those who pass by Refuse to give them this blessing The lord bless you We bless you in the Lords name.

Who are my enemies? Who are yours?

Since I was young it has always been my thoughts that have been most persecuting to me. My thoughts were loaded with inadequacies, and with thoughts like these coming to harvest it left me with very low self confidence.

Just when I thought that I was conquered ,I was reminded that I was not to be defeated. While it is true that such thoughts left me battered and bruised, they would no longer hold me captive.

My God our Lord Jesus is so great isn’t He.

He delivered me from those very thoughts and gave me thoughts of Him which always lead to a greater confidence then ever imagined. Every now and then those seeds of bad thoughts are planted but then all I have to do is remember God, and who He is and who He made me to be.

It is a prayer of mine that all thoughts not of the Lord be turned aside in defeat. If these seeds are planted I pray that they will be carried, swept away by the mighty hand of the Lord whom will then replace it with a seed that will be sure to grow up and not down.

This morning I once more had those thoughts of inadequacy enter in. I have been called each morning to come and meet with my Father. This morning as He waited, I slept. I knew that I was in the wrong, but I did it anyway. I was sooo tired.

Well imagine if you will ,the amount of guilt I gathered when I learned my little girl(5) was sick with fever. It left me wondering if perhaps this could be a consequence of my disobedience. After dropping my two older children off at school, A thought came to my heart that said yes, it is because of sin that your child is sick, but it is from the first sin. At that moment He confirmed that my disobedience had nothing to do with her sickness.

But still like Adam and Eve I was running from the Lord with great guilt. Driving down the road I was trying to decide if I should just go back to bed, go about my day, or do I need to meet with the Lord? Even though I missed my appointment .

How great it is to know that he welcomes walk-ins. Well knowing the consequences of avoiding and lying to my Father, I decided I must go to Him before I do anything. It was at that moment that I got down on my face and I asked for His forgiveness and I asked him to cloth me.(not with fig leaves, but with a warriors suit).

Being in scripture prior has really helped me to communicate with the Lord. It has allowed me to see and know God and it has opened the door for obedience.

True there was a battle going on within my mind, but although I was cut and bruised my Lord delivered me. The thoughts of not being good enough vanished and the thoughts of God entered in. Now I know that it is okay to think that I am not good enough as long as it humbles me and in humility I reverence that it is only through Christ that I have achieved and will achieve His will for my life.